tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355176271468209858.post3129428601158823466..comments2023-06-02T10:40:00.876-04:00Comments on Urban Flowerpot: When Your Child Won't Sleepurban flowerpothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05199157834801719603noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355176271468209858.post-77642040049209811062013-10-02T08:47:04.000-04:002013-10-02T08:47:04.000-04:00i'm ABSOLUTELY no expert. and Lovie has her ow...i'm ABSOLUTELY no expert. and Lovie has her own room so i'm not sure that any of this will help but... Lovie never STTN till we made her CIO at 11 months. and even after that, she would still wake once or twice and cry, she just didn't go on and on about it. honestly, it wasn't until this current year (she'll be 4 end of Dec) that she truly STTN without waking. although now she does wake to pee and stuff. argh. anyway. we never had a problem putting her to sleep until right after her 2nd bday. that's when the screaming and fits really went to a new level and it's like we had to start from the beginning. so onward we went and we were very very VERY CONSISTENT with whatever we did. and just as we got settled, she started climbing out of her crib and that's when things really got fun (and my hair REALLY got white). as you know. I DREADED bedtime. I HATED it. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was SO tired. all the time. it would take 2-3 hours EVERY SINGLE NIGHT before she'd finally give up and go to sleep. but every single night we did what we had to do to keep her in. we did NOT lock her in. I just couldn't do it. I tried a couple times to hold the door (no lock on the door and we rent like you) and I couldn't handle the screaming and crying. :( we begged. we pleaded. we bribed!! and we might get a night or two where bedtime only lasted 1-2 hours instead of 2-3 but then something would happen and bam, back to square one. it was MADDENING. most night we would follow our every day routine of tooth brushing, pj's, pullup, books, songs. then we' try to leave and she would just get up. so then we had to start sitting on the floor right by her door. we made very little (if any at all) eye contact. at first I tried the Supernanny tactic of putting her back in bed EACH time but honest to god I was too tired and couldn't do it. so I would sit in the doorway. with my back to her. she'd climb on me and try to get over. I wouldn't budge. she'd try to be sweet to me and give me hugs. I wouldn't budge. she'd run around crazy in her room. I wouldn't budge. finally she'd collapse on the floor and cry to me that she just wanted me. :( broke my heart every night. and every night we danced the same dance. when she collapsed and cried for me, I would scoop her up and tell her she had to go to sleep and she would setlle down. but again 2-3 hours after the start of it. the past 3 months (maybe longer, maybe not) have been MUCH BETTER. I really feel that she was trying to break us, to push us to our limits (and she almost succeeded!), but then realized it won't work. I guess? I dunno. Bedtimes are doable now. I actually don't collapse into bed right after she goes down anymore. For the first time in like a year. Life is kidn of normal again. SORRY FOR THE NOVELLA!! hang in there!christinahttp://finallymom.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355176271468209858.post-7926546071808850772013-10-02T08:57:28.000-04:002013-10-02T08:57:28.000-04:00I just read the article for the first time. their ...I just read the article for the first time. their experience and mine sound IDENTICAL except Lovie wouldn't get out of bed once asleep. and, we never had to do the lock. but I certainly understand where they are coming from...christinahttp://finallymom.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355176271468209858.post-89384497570555431562013-10-02T09:19:24.000-04:002013-10-02T09:19:24.000-04:00THANK YOU - I appreciated every word of the novell...THANK YOU - I appreciated every word of the novella. It made me feel less alone...I feel very isolated in my experiences right now. and helpless. We're trying to do our best, of course, but when it doesn't work and you're against the wall and out of ideas...<br><br>So you were a doorstop, too. Because that is what I do, though I hold the door shut. He'd gotten to the point where he wouldn't try to open it until 30-45 min had past then he'd sneak over and try to beat me and open it. It's a 50/50 score. Either way he'd see me there and usual let out one howl and run back to bed. Lately he began sweet talking...so I'd say it's nighttime, I love you, go back to bed. Quick, little eye contact, sometimes none/no words...and close the door. Howl then silence.<br><br>This is taking about 2 hours.<br><br>I'd been hoping he'd just learn. I didn't want to lock him in and create a new battle. Maybe I'm at the edge of success and don't know it and just need to be a doorstop for a little longer. I want to be consistent - I know that's important. It's been close to two months, though. I'm beat and frustrated and tired.<br><br>::hugs::Urban Flowerpothttp://urbanflowerpot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355176271468209858.post-53915775004501912872013-10-02T09:20:38.000-04:002013-10-02T09:20:38.000-04:00Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm currently pre...Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm currently prepping things to re-do his corner into a big boy corner. It's very babyish right now and I wonder sometimes if he has started to notice? :/Urban Flowerpothttp://urbanflowerpot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355176271468209858.post-76647516145095732202013-10-02T10:21:54.000-04:002013-10-02T10:21:54.000-04:00honestly, I would keep on doing what you're d...honestly, I would keep on doing what you're doing. this went on for a LONG LONG time in our house. like I said, the article you posted was pretty much word for word my experience. have you tried being the doorstop with the door open, back to him/room? that's what got the best result. and head down. I would have to say the ABC's in my head to keep my calm (while i raged inside). it's SO SO SO HARD. some other things that have worked: i shut off the TV an hour before i would like her to be asleep; i only close the door if she gets up and out of the room for anything other than going potty (though man, those people in the article have it made--they put a potty in the room so they get to sleep in till whenever! though that wouldn't work for you b/c of being in the same room). <br><br>i do think you're on the right track, i really do. but it's HARD. and exhausting. i think if you do anything different at this point, it would be to lock him in :(<br><br>::Huge hugs::Christinahttp://finallymom.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355176271468209858.post-25919998398676327962013-10-02T10:24:20.000-04:002013-10-02T10:24:20.000-04:00that might help but i suspect he just wants the co...that might help but i suspect he just wants the company. going to sleep all alone can be scary. remind him that you're right outside the room, that you'll check on him, but that he's a big boy and he's got to stay in bed. whatever you don't let him out of the room.Christinahttp://finallymom.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355176271468209858.post-10889965802747164032013-10-02T12:58:56.000-04:002013-10-02T12:58:56.000-04:00Phew, I'm really glad I brought this up becaus...Phew, I'm really glad I brought this up because last night I cracked and was like I'M GOING TO CHANGE THINGS! and let's just say the beginning of that plan wasn't going very well :/ I will probably keep the door closed since I work right in the dining room which he can see (just 15 feet away from the door) and keep saying the door needs to be closed like I have, that I'm always there. I have my head down and am either reading or fiddling with my phone - and nowwwww you know why my photo edits all happen at night and why I have time!!!!!!!!!! ;D ;)Urban Flowerpothttp://urbanflowerpot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355176271468209858.post-89758952976827107932013-10-02T13:00:35.000-04:002013-10-02T13:00:35.000-04:00Hm this is just a comment test. There was an error...Hm this is just a comment test. There was an error, clicked comment luv to undo, clicked it back on, and now the error is gone but no selection of past entries to choose from...Urban Flowerpothttp://urbanflowerpot.comnoreply@blogger.com