Rebuilding our home...

With the help of our church and friends we've been busy gathering things for our new apartment. The kind generosity of both strangers and community have given us a foundation of donated things with which to start. Bee and I have been touched deeply by how generous and thoughtful people are, and hope one day we'll be in a position to help others, as they have helped us. I'm a great giver, but it's hard for me to receive...it's hard to ask for help and accept it graciously. I hate the feeling of imposing, but when I start to feel awkward I remind myself of how good my heart feels when I'm helping someone. It's humbling to be on the other side.

The amount of things we need is overwhelming. Each time I go out on a shopping adventure I brace myself for impact. We got a handful of gift cards which has taken a serious edge off, and I'm learning how to hunt for the best bargains; being as thrifty as possible while still creating a cozy nest for my family. Friends with cars and a passion for shopping have been helpful in getting us out to stores and all our big, lumpy parcels back to the third floor of the new place. Oh, the wall of stairs! It's steep; it's truly a wall going up, up, up. It's harder for me to get up there at seven months pregnant and I can't carry much; frustrating. I'm thankful for each trip anyone has made up that wall to get our goods home.

Home. It doesn't feel like home yet, but it will. I'll take photographs and we'll watch it grow from literally nothing into something special. Everything is in a pile on the dining room floor right now. Tomorrow evening we're going to Ikea with Joyce and she'll help us sort out those last essentials via her fabulous list-making-organization...and from there I'll make it happen! Once we're in, it will be easier to see what we've accumulated from others, see what we have, what we still need.

Home. I haven't known a home without my kittens in 14 years. When I was alone the other day I called out to them like I would normally - just to see how it felt - and it was quiet.

Soon we'll have a baby boy bringing joy and laughter into our world. People have been especially helpful in getting things for him - my whole self is relieved. I was so worried.

One of the other restaurants in the company I work for sent us a Babies R Us gift card which I used today. I got some useful, functional things like new bottles. I got some playful things, like glo worm toys (but age appropriate! not like the collection back at The Ashes that may have survived). I got him the softest blanket with green stars. Some stuffie rattles, a skull fleece that Bee would have chosen immediately had he been there. I found some wall decals since we can't paint. I don't know how I'll tie it all together, but that will be the fun of it. I love to clean, organize, and decorate.

I found Tee a robot toy - and even a robot nightlight.

Slowly we'll piece it all back together.

When I got home there were two packages - a bathtub to replace the one that was lost, and a package of creepers I'd selected on Amazon. Thank you for sending them. I know there are people keeping track of our story - helping us. You're all so amazing. I still don't have the words to convey what my heart feels.

Tee is getting bigger by the day - perhaps by the hour. He has a baby friend on the outside and while we were running errands she got upset and Tee kicked his empathy out to her in morse code. He didn't stop there - he slugged me all night. ...and here comes the nightly heartburn. Oh, my little treasure, settle down. Despite it all, I've been savoring every moment of this pregnancy (post first tri, that is!). The final weeks are starting to fly by and I never want to forget the feeling.

There is much I could go on about tonight, but I'll close with his robot, sent earlier to Bee for approval :)