Single Yellow Rose

Most Treasured Item (no. 7)

Yellow rose to brighten the scariest day of my life.

The fire taught me many things, which includes the reminder that things are just things, and while some treasures were picked from the ashes by a very loving husband, they, too, are just things. It is the husband who is most treasured; the baby who was inside of me; friends and family. However, for tonight's photo I thought of something I currently have in my possession to share.

My single, yellow rose was given to me by a friend the morning after I unexpectedly had Tristan when I was 30 weeks pregnant. It was the only thing that I brought home after giving birth that most people consider normal - expected even. Most people don't know how to react when someone has a preemie. Balloons and flowers don't seem right and it's hard to read the mother's reaction because she is in shock.

When I brought people in to NICU to meet my son they were overwhelmed by their surroundings. Tristan's neighbor was one pound - Tristan was much bigger. He was three pounds, after dropping 11 oz overnight. Machines are beeping, nurses and doctors are zipping around, and there is your baby in a box. What do you say? Oh, s/he's precious! Give your friend a hug and ask her how she's feeling. Shut out every single beep, every baby but hers. This is extremely important.

Here is a list of suggestions written by a group of preemie moms (including myself) of things you can do. For example, you can bring her a rose.

When I came home, empty - without my baby and my heart heavy with fear and sadness - I hung the rose upside down to dry. It will hang in my kitchen by the sink every single day reminding me that one day Tristan will be home.

I will keep it forever.