23 May 2017

Gumball Jackpot Review

Gumball Jackpot is the newest​ treat by successful mother-daughter team, Amanda and Samantha of Lowcountry Eclectic.

Remember seeing those shiny machines and begging for a quarter to turn the crank? How your​ eye was on something cool that might make it out (it didn't)?

The anticipation was typically worth more than what actually came out, which is where Gumball Jackpot​ drew their name.

Through Friday, 26 May, you can spend $10 on handcrafted earrings and pins and get a FREE pair of rocket earrings.

That's more satisfaction than any rusty grocery store machine ever gave me!

18 May 2017

Badmotorfinger: The Passing of Chris Cornell

Today Chris was lost to suicide, in 1991 he helped save me from mine.

Grunge. It happened in the early 90's just after I'd relocated to a small town outside of Boston from Southern California. I was not in a good place mentally. I wanted to die and frequently called the Suicide Helpline from the back of YM (magazine) to either sit in silence or hang up on them. It was an 800 number so there would be no charge to alert my parents.

I didn't know what I was feeling. There were just so many emotions. I hated being alive, though.

My old music reminded me of home and I thought the stuff they played on the east coast was lame. But then grunge began to filter in. It was angry and raw. I didn't know the lyrics by heart but the music and growling words fed my soul.

Today Chris Cornell hung himself.

I drifted away from Soundgarden's music over the years but they hold a place in my heart.

I remember that by the time Stone Temple Pilots came onto the scene I'd met a Florida girl in high school and we bonded over everything, not just lack of sunlight. She found a flyer to a dingy pink graffiti clothing dive that we'd save our allowance to visit. Three dollar flannels while the polo crew at school wore GAP's fashion rip offs and we'd roll our eyes. That's what you do when you're 15.

She saved me, too, but that's a story for another day.

Music has been the net to contain my chaos. When I turn it on everything settles down and I can function productively.

Today will be my 3rd year, 1 month, fifth day of hooping in a row.
Today will be outshined.

Thank you for everything, Chris.

08 December 2016

Accidental Photography


1. Still figuring out the kinks of blogging by phone but doing it!

2. Twilight.

3. When Tristan and I sing Jigglypuff together in harmony.

4. I read Dune!

5. Portable heater. Oh warmth, the California in me needs it.

08 November 2016

Daily Thanks on a Manic Monday

1. I'm thankful for good friends.

2. For the keyboard Tris plays with such passion.

3. That his Homeschool charter has a dance class!

4. I have been stretching daily for two months straight.

5. For structure. I need it as much as T.

07 November 2016

Daily Thanks - 6 Nov 16

The name is rather long so I'm sorting the title of these posts out. But here we go for today...

1. It was a cozy family day.

2. Bran and I watched a couple episodes of The Walking Dead season 6...we used to love it but are anti-fans now. However, their zombie makeup and such has gotten so cool!!!

3. It's like the time change didn't happen. But I'm thankful for the privacy window cling on one of front windows. I'm a total California girl and since leaving the west coast I struggle emotionally without enough sunlight in my day, even if it's just sunbeams from the window.

4. Oh! I've been cleaning my office and today it finally looked like something is happening! That's encouraging.

5. Tristan saw some smudges on the kitchen floor (I know, I saw, I was going to do it tomorrow tomorrow)...but before we knew what was happening he had his trick or treat bucket out, filled with water and mopping! He said lots of cutie little kid stuff while doing it and I was thankful to get a clip on video. Coming soon to his YouTube channel (he really wants to be a YouTuber).

06 November 2016

The Daily List of Joy and Thanks

These are daily lists of little things to be thankful for to help me notice and remember them. I have been making these lists almost every day for over 1,000 days on a few platforms. It is done in conjunction with #thedailyhoop (my daily time spent outdoors). 

With that, I'm back on Blogger with my first list [here]. 

1. I saw an old friend today who has been Born Again since the last time we hung out. 

2. This makes me SO HAPPY!!!!

3. The light of Jesus shines through her demeanor & I found time with her to be inspiring. 

4. We colored our Bibles! That was so fun!

5. Cat she gave us was mostly well behaved and rather liked her which means she left unharmed. That's a win since we had to extract her several times recently.

26 April 2016

it's not a habit...it's cool.

I know what you're going to say: I'm not an addict. This song is about drugs, not alcohol. I can stop anytime I want. Don't judge how I cope. It's not a habit. I can stop anytime. Oh, did I say that already? I really can. I'll stop now. I can go for months without drinking. It makes me so mad when people tell me I'm an alcoholic...I'm not. Nothing makes me more angry than that.

Guess what? You made me promise that I'd never coddle you. You wanted someone who'd call  "me on my sh--." Someone who wouldn't enable you by having alcohol around. Be blunt. Not treat you differently because of your looks...and on and on. I told you'd I'd always be that person...but you couldn't handle being held to those standards.

You are a binge alcoholic by definition (and so much more!): 

Binge drinking is the practice of consuming large quantities of alcohol in a single session, usually defined as five or more drinks at one time for a man, or four or more drinks at one time for a woman.

Do you see where we go off the rails here? I know they didn't specifically define it as someone who drinks bottle after bottle of cheap vodka until passing out, waking up, doing it again, and again and again until weeks have passed and every pore of you reeks and it takes weeks before you'll sober up. It's repugnant. 

You showed up here wanting to change. You wanted to be held to standards because you didn't have a problem. I realize now that my mistake was you not being able to say I am an alcoholic.

We gave you space. We nurtured a love between  you and our son. I can't put into words how far mama bear I've gone...you are hurting him. You hurt me. You hurt everyone. I am so mad. He wants to eat Sour Patch Kids every day like you. He looks up to you. 

But you LOVE alcohol.

The bottle is your family. It's who you choose to hold at night and wake up to in the morning. Not family. Not love. Not even respect.

I opened up to you...hoping you'd see some way up and out of the hole you've dug. I tried to kill myself once. For real. You know that...yet still you find it in your heart to cruelly call our home at all hours with threats of suicide shaking everyone up. If you're too drunk you have your less drunk roommate make the call for you. 

You left so you could continue manipulating people around you.

You could have built your bedroom in our home. Instead you spent a grand on furniture the day you arrived on the other side of the country...and you're still sweating cheap vodka and being pathetic as you skip even further down the rabbit hole you dug for yourself. I can't believe I dared to hope you'd change when you wound up in the hospital. Silly me.

I don't want my selfish and mean behavior to hurt anyone...

That's one of my favorite quotes ::sarcasm::

I have to sit here and watch my son's big brown eyes fill to the brim with tears and ask why you left him...why you won't come back. Why you not his friend anymore. Why water is making  you sick...

...is that why he won't drink water? That's what it looked like. We said you couldn't stop drinking. I now have the pleasure of explaining drunks and alcohol to his sweet heart. 

He still believes in you.

We all love you; we gave you what you said you needed.

But now you need to be brave.
Get it together.

We'd take you back because that is what family does, BUT not until you can say I AM an addict.
...and you get help.