18 March 2013

Selfless Love

Happy Birthday to my mister.

Mondays are always Mommy & Me moments here, but it's my husband's birthday today and since he is the one who makes many of the moments possible I'd prefer to focus on him this time.

I think there are only a couple people who truly know how hard Brandon works. It's hard. We were in a complicated place before having Tristan. I was working nights full time while Brandon went to school full time (remotely after moving up here to be with me). That's how it was going to go but then....well, you know the thing about plans. They don't always stick to themselves.

Since my job was so active and long (12 hour shifts) it was getting trickier - and will someone tell me what I was thinking darting though traffic on my bicycle in Philadelphia while pregnant? That's insane. Anyway.

So then the fire happened and mixed things up even further, and then (!!) I was let go from my job (at 4:45 p.m. on a Friday while sitting by Tristan's incubator in NICU). Bleep:::new message. You're fired! Mad Mex, you are The Worst.

Two years ago we had moved into our 'new' apartment. Brandon had his birthday. We got all dressed up and then I took him to a dive bar in South Philly that serves things like alligator tacos and rabbit nachos. That's when we took those neon-lit photographs that I'm really sappy over (see above).

The following week was a whirlwind. I really will write something one day on how to decorate on a dime because it can be done - even if you don't like the things you're working with. I had no idea that I only had a handful of days to rebuild our nest. I thought I had an entire trimester! I'm amazed.

Many of you, dear readers, are responsible for providing some of the supplies and I am eternally thankful.

While I was sitting with Tristan in NICU Brandon found a full time job and kept up with all his classes (he doesn't take summers off and does accelerated courses). He let me spend as much time with Tristan as I needed and gave me the space I needed to neurotically run around gathering things to make this apartment ours.

We were both wearing hand-me-downs. I remember going to the thrift store over the summer and picking some things out. My donations had been mostly maternity things which I never got to wear (or did and just kept pulling them up). My belly band was where it was at. Other things would have fit after I lost some weight but in a fit of postpartum madness I re-donated them. Oh the things we do when our brains are scrambled, right?

Back to my husband: Brandon was given a pair of dress shoes from a teen for our wedding. They were too small but they looked nice. Then when he started going to work he had to look nice - and so the shoes became a staple. He almost always walks to and from his office skipping public transportation to save us money; it adds up and besides he enjoys it. He probably walks 15 miles/week.

I don't know how it escaped my notice...FOR TWO YEARS.

But these shoes...these shoes that were never meant to be...lived on. and on. and on. He made sure Tristan and I were replacing things we needed (or I wanted more than needed). I miss a lot of my frivolous and girlie things that certainly aren't necessary and he likes to indulge me.

When I finally saw the bottoms my heart broke as deeply as the soles themselves. That dear man.

The other week I wrote about random acts of kindness - well, the stranger who gave me the gift of shoes also included a gift certificate to help me replace another pair. I gave that to Brandon instead. I'd like to note that when I told him that's what I wanted to do he said with all the love of honesty in his eyes, "Oh no, baby, that's yours - those are for your favorites." Yes, this man is real and he is all mine.

This weekend I went back to the Dr. Martens store and used the card to take the edge off and got him his first pair of dress shoes in forever. They're very handsome. Now the whole family is in Docs (until Tristan outgrows his pair and then he'll have to wait).

So here we go -



Our replacements next to each other - complimentary, don't you think?

Tristan hopped right in for a test drive and approves.

I will be so glad to throw the others out. He'd mentioned needing new shoes eventually. Well, babe, you got a deluxe birthday gift this year...and that's not all. You needed these desperately, but I also got you something frivolous (but manly) to unwrap today.

There aren't words to express how much I love you and how selfless you've been.


  1. My mister is much the same way - and we even have the shoes to prove it!

    (Now if he'd only let me toss the ones that have been resoled and have second generation holes...)

  2. Can you clone this man and send him to me? You have a rare one there! What a lovely post.

  3. Ohhh I never thought about just resoling them......



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