14 May 2012

My First Second Mother's Day

Tucking Tristan into bed on Mother's Day - left, in NICU - right, this year at home.

Last year I had hit my third NICU-wall. For those of you who have spent a prolonged amount of time in NICU, you'll know what I mean. There isn't just one wall and not all walls are the same. This was a bad one. We'd been transferred into Siberia where it's almost time to go home, but not quite. The transitional nursery had a twisted sense of humor in that it was placed directly behind the 'well baby' nursery with a picture window into their world. You'd say excuse me as you skirted around the cribs being rolled into L&D to visit with families, balloons, stuffies, and all the things the movies tell you your delivery will be.

Here is what I wrote on Mother's Day Eve last year:

I'm so sick of the hospital.
Today was our seven week mark.
49 days.
Approximately 80 miles of walking.
12 gallons of milk transported.
Countless amounts of laundry.
Dozens of silent tears shed.
Silent smiles when I remember or look forward to something good.
Back and forth, back and forth.
2 fountain sodas from Wawa, my new you-made-it-through-another-day treat.
Hundreds of songs from my ipod.
Days when I'd call for my cats.
Days when I didn't call anymore.
Walk, walk, walk.
Sunday marks 37 weeks gestation.
If he'd been born tomorrow he would have been full term.


Bee and I went on to make that first Mother's Day special - after all, we just needed our son. I cuddled him all day then Bee took me on a milkshake-date and we decorated toys for Tristan's nursery. I cherish the memories, even if I had reached my limit. There could have been a fourth wall...and there was, but that's another story.

This year we celebrated all weekend - and on Sunday Tristan was baptised. It was beautiful. Thank you, Bee + Tee! I love you both so much.

Saturday Moonpies!

Sunday, Special Sunday!

Mamma-son antics.


1 comment :

  1. I love this post. I love your raw thoughts and your love for this little boy. You are a lovely woman.


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