03 August 2014

The Elimination Factor

I suffer from a severe anxiety disorder. It isn't going anywhere so I'm learning to cope with it; coexist.

What does this mean to me? Well, I take my meds like a good girl. When I start feeling better I'll admit they're working and I'm not cured. I have made that mistake half a dozen times. How 101, right? I feel better now! Guess I don't need meds....it was magic!

Even with this crutch I can have anxiety attacks for hours. It feels like my chest is caving in, my heart is racing, I can't get enough air. I tremble. My mind isn't distracted by much for long, not even sleep. I'll just have nightmares about what's stressing me out.

It's a downward spiral into the center of the earth.

What's a girl to do? Eliminate. Zap whatever brings you more stress than joy. It's extremely successful once you get the knack of it. Turn your stressors into static.

I'm not sorry. I have to. If something has changed where you've affected my mind, body, and unconscious brainwave terrain it's time for you to go. You or that pile of junk in the corner that is out of control or the messy pile of papers that need to be filed - it's all the same.

I won't be bullied.
I won't be picked on.
My feelings will not be discredited.

You'll be gone...
and I'll replace my shaking with positive energy.

Get rid of static.
It's only taking up space where joy should live.

Adults should know better...unfortunately they don't always. Don't fool yourself into thinking bullying stops after graduation.


  1. I'll have to bookmark this and read it over and over to myself when I forget that I need to "file" and "clean up" every now and then for my own sanity. No one should have that power over me. Thanks for the reminder. :)

  2. You always hit the nail on the head..I love you girl!

  3. Wow. That's me in a nutshell. It's so hard explaining to other people. I don't feel I should have to explain, but I get so tired of friends and family looking at me like I'm crazy and telling me to "just get over it". I'm taking so many pills, but I know I need them. I'm finally in one on one therapy (they put me in group therapy some years ago, but I quit because the other patients scared me!), but I don't think it's working very well. There are just some things I am unwilling to change. Habits, you know? They make me feel safe and SANE. I don't want to stop certain things. Anyway, I wish you all the best! We can all support each other.


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