03 August 2014
The Elimination Factor
I suffer from a severe anxiety disorder. It isn't going anywhere so I'm learning to cope with it; coexist.
What does this mean to me? Well, I take my meds like a good girl. When I start feeling better I'll admit they're working and I'm not cured. I have made that mistake half a dozen times. How 101, right? I feel better now! Guess I don't need meds....it was magic!
Even with this crutch I can have anxiety attacks for hours. It feels like my chest is caving in, my heart is racing, I can't get enough air. I tremble. My mind isn't distracted by much for long, not even sleep. I'll just have nightmares about what's stressing me out.
It's a downward spiral into the center of the earth.
What's a girl to do? Eliminate. Zap whatever brings you more stress than joy. It's extremely successful once you get the knack of it. Turn your stressors into static.
I'm not sorry. I have to. If something has changed where you've affected my mind, body, and unconscious brainwave terrain it's time for you to go. You or that pile of junk in the corner that is out of control or the messy pile of papers that need to be filed - it's all the same.
I won't be bullied.
I won't be picked on.
My feelings will not be discredited.
You'll be gone...
and I'll replace my shaking with positive energy.
Get rid of static.
It's only taking up space where joy should live.
Adults should know better...unfortunately they don't always. Don't fool yourself into thinking bullying stops after graduation.